Leo lost his Father this week. He posted a moving Eulogy he gave for his Dad. My best to you Leo, I know what it is like. It was 9 years ago next Monday that I lost my Father.
All I can say that may matter right now is hang in there. As time goes by and emotions subside you will learn a very important thing. Your father is not gone, he lives on in and through you. We often rebel against our fathers. Most of us swear never to be like them in our youth, then refusing to listen to them in our young adult lives. Then, as the reality of life becomes clear to us, we find we did listen and learn.
All those chats and lectures we suffered through as youth end up being worth it in the long run. A lesson learned is never realized until it can be made useful. I did say I never wanted to be like my father when I was young, but now that I too am a man, I’m filled with pride to finally understand what my Father taught me.
“Tellin’ it like I see it” was my Father’s stubborn reply whenever I may have tried to refute his opinion or words. He believed what he believed and always did what he felt was right. In the end you judge a man by how he is remembered. Leo did his namesake and father proud with his words at his burial, but that is not the end. His father gave the world a being in his own likeness. He molded him. He taught him. He did well. Like his Father, Leo is a good man.
Though his smile is gone forever,
and his hand we cannot touch,
still we have so many memories
of the one we love so much.
His memory is our keepsake
with which we will never part.
God has him in his keepings,
we have him in our hearts.
That was the inscription on his funeral handout. Here is my Eulogy.
Good morning, my name is Andy. Most of you know me as the baby. For those of you who don’t know me, I am Richard’s youngest son. My brothers and I would like to share some of our feelings about our Dad. As I matured in life, people started telling me I look a lot like my Father. Other people paid me an even more impressive compliment. People have been saying that I am turning into a 23 year old version of him. Which is the most flattering compliment I have been paid.
If we look around the Church here today, we are seeing some new faces, some recognizable, and some familiar ones. We may not know each other’s names. We may not be sure who everyone is, but my father probably knew them, more than just know them, he was their friend. This was one of his most impressive traits.
My Mom has told me stories about the trips they would take. On these trips, he always had a friend to do things with. If these friends weren’t ones that were suspiciously staying at the same hotel, he just made one. Anywhere in the world he went, he made friends. It was almost like he was planning on his wife getting a little too sassy for him. This way he could still go out and have a good time. Not that this happened all the time. But he always made sure he wouldn’t be alone.
Through out his entire life, he was never really alone. Look around the Church again. One of the people you see, if not you yourself, was always with him. It didn’t matter what he was doing, he always had a friend or relative with him.
So now as we lay his body to rest, and say good bye to: a husband, dad, grandfather, uncle, cousin, boss, and importantly friend, we should not grieve our loss. We have to remember that he is going to pay us back for every minute we spent with him and more. We made it so he was never alone, now it is his turn. Richard Aplikowski will always be with us, looking over our shoulder. In case we feel alone.
Now I wrote that 9 years ago when I was a young pup of 23. I delivered it looking into the eyes of a crowd of hundreds who knew my Father. My 2 brothers and I had the honor to speak that day. I was the first, and despite my promise not to cry to my borthers, I didn’t make it to the end of my part with out tears coming to my eyes and taking over my voice. Having just retyped it here, I wouldn’t change hardly a thing (minus a few spelling errors).
And looking back at the 9 years since my Father’s passing, I would like to add that I am so proud to be my Father’s son. Both my Mother and Father did me right. They taught me to always do the right thing in my heart. They taught me to be true to myself. Never a day goes by that I don’t wish my Father was around to see what I have made of myself, or the way I have affected the world around me. Or to tell me how wrong my heart may have been.
Maybe he wouldn’t have agreed with every decision. And sure he would have had his own opinion on some. But at the end of the day, as the sun sets, and I think about what my life would have been like had I not been my father’s son, I can’t imagine. He taught me that at the end of the day, you need to look yourself in the mirror and answer to yourself.
My Father gave everything he could to make the world a better place for me, my family, and everyone around him and even those he did not know. His spirit and good will live on through not only me, but everyone else his big, albeit private, heart touched.
It is the duty and honor for sins and daughters to carry on the spirit of our fathers. It is our responsibility to let their spirit live on both in and through us.
You are a fine man Leo. Right now it may seem impossible, but know your Father can always watch over at you, marveling at the great success his little boy has become, and watch him from up above carry on his own legacy, in his own way, with a bit of input from his Father.
God Bless Leo, and please let me know if there is anything I can do.
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