AAA for MOB Mayor
For immediate release
September 29, 2006
Contact: Tami MacGenius, AAA for MOB Mayor Spokesbabe
867-5309

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Evidence was presented that Joe Tucci offered a young child alcohol. It is unclear how many times this has happened, but proof has been emailed from the honorable, upstanding citizen blogger, and law abiding Learned Foot of the Kool Aid Report.

Aplikowski added the following after viewing the picture, “Given the new information that my opponent Joe Tucci has acted with such indiscretion and displayed such poor judgement I call for him to with draw from the race. The MOB doesn’t need a Mayor more concerned with getting kids drunk than dutifully fulfilling the responsibilities of the position he was elected to.”

The AAA for MOB Mayor campaign has turned the matter over to the proper authorities. The campaign has not done any polling to determine whether or not this development will affect the Canadian votes cast in Mexico for who will win Dancing with the Stars.

AAA for MOB mayor spokesbabe, Tami MacGenius had this to add, “Clearly Andy Aplikowski will be the kind of MOB Mayor who is more concerned with getting himself drunk than performing the duties of the office.”

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JOE TUCCI REBUTS: I want you to listen to me, ‘cuz I’m only gonna say this once:

I did not. Give. Beer. To. That. Boy - Moonchild…

One moment please…

Um, my staff attorneys have just informed me of the following:

MOB Constitution, Article 9, section 4 provides:

SECTION 4. DUTIES OF THE MAYOR

The mayor shall discharge all duties of his Office including, but not limited to:

***

(7) Upon request, provide LearnedFoot and any of his issue in perpetuity, all the beer he requires.

(Emphasis Tucci’s)

So, I guess…never mind.

VOTE TUCCI - He’ll give you beer!

Andy Adds:
For the benefit of the Green Bay Packers fans.
Perpetuity- a thing that lasts forever or for an indefinite period

I guess I am running for MOB mayor. Who knew?

Andy Aplikowski. The primary blogger at the aforementioned Resijawall Fcroes and contributor to KvM, Andy is a veteran political hack who has quite a bit of game when it comes to campaigning. Andy was also voted the MOBs Most Eligible Bachelor in the only legitimate poll regarding that title.

UPSIDE: Knows how to get his message out to the masses.

DOWNSIDE: Nobody can read his messages once they receive them.

ODDS: 3 to 1

I just wanted to remind the single female reader here that I am the MOB’s official Most Elligible bachelor. And chicks dig my fuzzy head.
Update:

Oh. I forgot, vote for me. I can’t be worse than that last guy who died in office or something.  I promise everyone that I will do more than nothing. Oh and free beer on flasatundays.

I am not teh only one who does it.

I’m normally not one for “Olbermann is teh greatest” posts

Ah, damn it!

I’m guessing Kevin will never do this again.

I’m in a weird mood today. I am having a blast with post tittles over at KvM.

I’ve made the Blog Mart again.

The extremely nasty tone of the rhetoric in the blogosphere was set early by Andy Aplikowski of the Mark Kennedy propaganda blog Kennedy vs. the Machine (1): “Obveeuslee, somewon hoo wood hire goons too attak here own employees is not fit to sit inn teh Senit. Shee shood go too jail!” The obviously delusional Aplikowski

I gotta get Joe Tucci to /whack/ that guy.

Why the hell do I do this? Blogging I mean. I’m kinda starting to realize since I’m not getting any positive reinforcement that I am full of shit, the criticism about me is correct and I’d be better served taking up knitting than political blogging from here on out. Am I quitting? Not yet. Am I taking a break? No. Am I wondering if anything I do is appreciated by anyone other than those looking to humiliate me? Yes!

I thought we were gonna lynch this guy. I mean he has essentially had 2 of the most dismal blogging comebacks ever. Wait a minute. Did Joe Tucci [whack] him on the way into the MOBapalooza?

Joe Tucci here.

I’d like to tell you about some people who I think suck.

1) Anti-Strib.  If ever there were a more craven bunch of traffic whores (pronounced “hoo-wahs”) I haven’t seen them.  And oh, by the way, if I wanted to know what Rush Limbaugh said on today’s show, I wouldda listened to it.  

Quick - go do a google image search for “boobies” and post all the pictures you find!

2) Tim O’Brien.  So Timmy, you been banging on my boys have ya’.  Why don’t you just start your own damn left-wing loony-tune blog dedicated to felating Keith Olberman and spare us your disingenuous crap?

But hey, if you insist on continuing to take a statement from here or KvM or MDE, stripping it of it’s context, and then peddling a bunch of one-sided, high-horsed BS critcism of it, why don’t you just print this!

(I’m pointing at my crotch right now.  With both hands.)

Hmm. That gesture doesn’t seem to have the same impact in print. 

If I had a Blog House, I’d torch it to collect the insurance proceeds.

Andy Adds: That’s more like it Joe. Attacking O’Brien and the Blog House, Good! Attacking Anti-Strib, well…. Not so good. I was hoping you’d be a bit more anti-lefty moonbat blogs, but I guess…

Wait a minute of the 90 some people who all contribute to Anti-Strib, half of them are liberals. I’ve heard one of them saying that they’re almost split 50-50. So I guess they may deserve the ire.

Sorry Joe, carry on.

Rumor has it that I was so ‘happy’ at the MOB party that I created a user account for Joe Tucci here on RF. And from the first 2 posts, this will definitely have the desired effect. Higher traffic. Less credibility, but higher traffic.

(I know, even I didn’t have a straight face when I wrote ‘less credibility’. I don’t think that is possible.)

Update:

I sure hope Mr. Tucci tells us all about him. Where he’s from. What he likes. Who he doesn’t like. etc etc