Residual Forces

A Stream of Consciousness by Andy Aplikowski on His Life, His Politics, His Dogs, His Truck, and Whatever Pleases His Fancy

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  • Best Christmas Joke

    Posted by Andy on December 29th, 2006

    This one just showed up in my INBOXI’m putting it below the fold as it is not for the young of age. Read at your own risk.

    ONIONS AND CHRISTMAS TREES

    A family is at the dinner table.The son asks his father, “Dad, how
    many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised,
    answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.

    In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her
    30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After
    50, they are like onions”.

    “Onions?”

    “Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”

    This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mom, how
    many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”

    The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes
    through three phases.

    In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his
    30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s,
    it is like a Christmas tree”.

    “A Christmas tree?”

    “Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

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