BREAKING NEWS, EXCLUSIVE NEWS, NEWS ALERT - Joe Tucci Gets Kids Drunk
Posted by Andy on September 29th, 2006
AAA for MOB Mayor
For immediate release
September 29, 2006
Contact: Tami MacGenius, AAA for MOB Mayor Spokesbabe
867-5309
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Evidence was presented that Joe Tucci offered a young child alcohol. It is unclear how many times this has happened, but proof has been emailed from the honorable, upstanding citizen blogger, and law abiding Learned Foot of the Kool Aid Report.
Aplikowski added the following after viewing the picture, “Given the new information that my opponent Joe Tucci has acted with such indiscretion and displayed such poor judgement I call for him to with draw from the race. The MOB doesn’t need a Mayor more concerned with getting kids drunk than dutifully fulfilling the responsibilities of the position he was elected to.”
The AAA for MOB Mayor campaign has turned the matter over to the proper authorities. The campaign has not done any polling to determine whether or not this development will affect the Canadian votes cast in Mexico for who will win Dancing with the Stars.
AAA for MOB mayor spokesbabe, Tami MacGenius had this to add, “Clearly Andy Aplikowski will be the kind of MOB Mayor who is more concerned with getting himself drunk than performing the duties of the office.”
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JOE TUCCI REBUTS: I want you to listen to me, ‘cuz I’m only gonna say this once:
I did not. Give. Beer. To. That. Boy - Moonchild…
One moment please…
Um, my staff attorneys have just informed me of the following:
MOB Constitution, Article 9, section 4 provides:
SECTION 4. DUTIES OF THE MAYOR
The mayor shall discharge all duties of his Office including, but not limited to:
***
(7) Upon request, provide LearnedFoot and any of his issue in perpetuity, all the beer he requires.
(Emphasis Tucci’s)
So, I guess…never mind.
VOTE TUCCI - He’ll give you beer!
Andy Adds:
For the benefit of the Green Bay Packers fans.
Perpetuity- a thing that lasts forever or for an indefinite period
September 29th, 2006 at 4:43 pm
Are there any campaign finance laws for the mayoral race? Because the product placement in the Moonchild leak is suspicious. This could be an instance of an intentional leak to circumvent the laws which may or may not be on the books. The MOB wants to know (or at least I do).
September 29th, 2006 at 8:22 pm
Where do we vote?? Is there a poll someplace? And are illegals eligible??
Just askin’